The King Vs. The Clown Vs. The Red-Headed Step-Child

I took this project real serious. I did some homework and then dove out into the field. I found out some interesting things, dunno if they’re relevant to the food quality, but either way…Each company deserves some background info…

So in 1954, McDonald’s was no more than a lil’ local burger joint in San Bernadino, California. A salesman, who they bought some equipment from, decided to try and put them through the roof. He set out to franchise, and he was appointed the agent by the founders of McDonald’s, Dick and Maurice McDonald. He finally gained a lot of power and money, and bought out the company. Ironically, he made the McDonalds change the name of the original McDonald’s, since he now owned the franchise and opened up a real McDonalds 1 block from them to put them outta business. He’ll burn in hell. it was only in the late 70s that Happy Meals began, and with that, a whole new sha-bammin’ campaign for McDonald’s, including that clown and all of those colorful characters. To date there are over 25 thousand of these places in the world.

Ironically, in a different corner of the United States, down in Miami, Florida, spawned the first of many Burger Kings. There isn’t much more to the story then that. Burger King just rocked the house. A couple of years ago they tried to do the whole “kids meal” thing, and made the Burger King Kids Club, with some bizarre characters, but they all died in a fire. We got about 11 thousand of these around the world now.

Then we have Wendy’s. Good story, food, eh. Dave Thomas hit this shit up in 1969 over in Columbus, Ohizzle. They DID innovate the drive-thru window, how ’bout that? Well anyway. Dave Thomas started it and it was his till his passing. No mutiny or anything. Yay. There are only 6000 or so though…

So I went to all three of these places, to pit them against each other.

Then we have the burgers…have a look…

As you can clearly see, Wendy’s and McDonald’s look very similar…they also happen to taste similar. What makes them different exactly?

McDonald’s Layout: No one knows this better than me as a former employee. They have the bun, “small meat” (prepared via grill) as we called it in the kitchen, cheese, ketchup, pickle, and sliced onion.

Burger King’s Layout: Okay, check this shizzle out… Sesame seed bun, the meat (which is round and prepared via flame broil grilling, not press grilling), cheese, ketchup, and a pickle, nice pickle at that.

Wendy’s Layout: We got the bun, that odd square meat (also prepared by grilling), cheese, ketchup, pickle, but one more thing, and it pissed me off…this HUGE ass onion…wow. Talk about nerve….

There was MORE of it there to! the whole inside of the onion was filled with the rest of the onion, I just left that on the burger, because I wanted the fair and full Wendy’s experience. So I ate and ate and ate…

In the end, the answer was clear…

BURGER KING

That’s that. The smell and taste of McDonald’s and Wendy’s was virtually the same. Burger King was different and better.

Okay, here it is, the Death Match of the Century:

Bees Vs. Peas

VS.

Now, this fight started off as a big joke. They rhymed, so I figured what the hey. Think about it though…Bees have stingers, but if a bee stings something, the bee dies…Would the epidermus of a pea however hold strong enough to get the job done? Would the poison from the sting affect the pea? How could a bee win really? Peas aren’t very active, how do you know when you’ve beaten a pea. The bees would have to overpower the pea. On the other hand, what offense could the peas mount? Would the stable defense be enough? I vote for peas in the end, but I leave it up to you people. I want you to vote and tell me who would win. There can be only one! ♠

Results!

I lived my dream of meeting Michael Jackson! I took some pictures so all can see!

First we shook hands. He’s a lot shorter in person, but very cool.

Then he busted some moves for me…