I think I’d work on getting a law passed that said quite simply, “If you make less than six figures a year, your employer legally cannot make you wear a suit to work, or have any dress code at all.” Let the rich people who have all this extra money to buy suits wear them, besides, imagine seeing who is making six figures in your company, I bet some of them would be hard to explain as would the opposite.
This has been, “If I Were President.”
“To err is human.”
Indeed, people make mistakes and, in time, people learn from them. That is the basic textbook definition of “experience.” My experience at my last place of employment certainly presented me a lot of so-called experience, none more important than the realization that working there may have been one of the biggest mistakes my life. This company is a business model—a model of what every employer would want to avoid emulating.
In order to preserve some sort of anonymity, I shall refer to this place simply as J. J is a well-known retail location, which has expanded beyond anyone’s guess. While its success seems admirable, the behind-the-scenes look shows this to be a façade. From treating its employees, the supposed most important asset, as expendable property to screwing over customers and workers alike, J has become a haven of bad business theory, enacted by uneducated management.
To err is human. I am human. I too could make mistakes and am susceptible to bias. As a result, I shall present only fact and logic. Emotion will not be implicitly stated, although each reader is urged to come his or her own opinion.
As an employee of J, I was entitled to fewer rights than the customers I was supposed to serve. In attempt to make a personal purchase, I myself have become a customer. Being an employee I am entitled to a discount, albeit not usually a very promising one. As a result, I could obtain no help from the salespeople in helping me choose a product. On one such instance, I have gone to the store and asked a salesman a question about a certain item. Unbeknownst to him, I was his coworker and thus he helped. Upon finding out about my status, and knowing he will not be receiving any commission for his help, I have yet to see him again. J creates an atmosphere in which its subjects refuse to aid anyone unless it benefits them.
J carries an extremely popular item, one that is not easy to obtain and is usually sold out. When it does come in stock, one would think that an employee would be able to get one for him and increase his productivity through happiness. But J, being a keen business entity, bars employees from such items. These are reserved only for those who are lucky to not wear the badge of J. In my attempt to get this highly sought product, I have asked a manager if I can pay full price to get it. I decided to not just to go behind their backs, but to be up-front. The answer was a very dismissive “I’ll talk to the buyers” as he made a haste exit and I have yet to hear any more from him on this issue. My money, as it seems, is not good enough for them! And once more did my employment at J result in me getting a worse treatment than a customer.
J is a type of company that preferred to do things that are legal but are inherently immoral. They would often pick on a person so often that would be forced to quit. This would save J money, as they do not have to pay any unemployment. Because the pay we received was above minimum wage, they would force people to work whatever hours they desired (but more on that later.) When a manager (who was one of the very few who was actually good) died, the company went on as nothing happened. At the funeral, which I was honored to attend, only two of the upper managers came. The owner, of course, was too busy to be bothered with such an event.
The management of J, as I quickly realized, has no experience being actual management. They were instead egomaniacs on power trips who instituted policies randomly and arbitrarily. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, they have done it to the extent where it is downright counterproductive and insulting. The head manager, who could not compose an email with no grammatical errors to save his last follicle on his head, enacted policies, which have caused a mass outcry.
I have worked 8 hours a day, plus an hour lunch, 5 days a week. When it was a busy season, J enacted a mandatory 6 days a week schedule (which is of questionable legal nature) in order to have enough staff. However, once enacted, J would rather keep this policy even when it is no longer necessary. Since they pay the same regardless, they have no need to limit the hours. This policy is kept to the sole whim of the management, and not for the greater good. While this is somewhat understandable, J also deems it necessary to use this as a source of punishment. Every so often they suddenly surmise—based on no evidence whatsoever—that it will be busy. They ask for volunteers. But of course we are all privy to their faux future telling and no one volunteers. Instead of taking this with stride, they decide to punish everyone by making them work an extra day. They were wrong; it was not busy.
Among the more ridiculous reasons to penalize an employee, J illegally punished us for minor infractions such as misspelling of a customer’s email address. They wanted us to get the email address twice and then read it back to them, no doubt so they can sell it of to the highest bidder (and probably the lowest bidder as well!) People were penalized because when we told the customer the truth, full aware that it is the truth, we had not consulted with the management. There is no need to involve them and yet they demanded so just so they have an extra bullet in their barrel for you! We even got punished when a different department made mistakes, which was unbelievably common.
The thing that J’s managers hated the most was to give the employees any time off. Be it a personal day, a vacation, or a legitimate illness, they vehemently refuse to accommodate. They even went as far as to demand make up days! They would force and threaten people to come in when they were sick and could not physically make the trip. Some managers provided advice on what to do so the employee could still come in, never mind that they had no medical training whatsoever. Others, the lazy ones, would just transfer the person to a manager who was very adamant and stubborn. And an employee would have to pray to whichever deity it is that they pray to in order to escape the fury that would follow if one would call out on a weekend! I once had a family emergency and called out, saying it was a personal issue. The management called me back three times and then called me into the office to explain myself the next time I came in.
The management was such that it expected a lot but appreciated nothing. No act was good. When a fellow employee broke a record, which has stood there for 20 odd years, he was praised. Until the next day when the owner of J, Mr. J himself, squeaked at him that he was not impressed. He would rather see less performance but in which the customers are squeezed for everything they are worth. If you excel in one area, they will attack another. If you improve that area, it is not enough. They will always find some sort of problem, ignoring the fact that the business is slow. I myself was told that I was too fast of a worker, even though I was efficient and good at what I was doing.
It seems that everything that J institutes has the sole purpose of demoralizing its employees in order to be able to train them better. We received threatening emails from the management, we were being threatened to be fire on a continuous basis, we are treated as disposable assets. They bring people up just to make them crash farther. They give out “employee of the month” award, as the name would imply, on a monthly basis. We have long since learned that this “award” is actually a kiss of death as most people get suspended or fired within weeks of receiving this “honor.” People have been known to quit within a week and I even heard stories of people taking a lunch on their first day and never coming back. The turnover rate in my department, and especially in others, was tremendous. The customer service department always had new faces and we wondered what happened to the old ones. Most of the other departments are seriously understaffed. And when mistakes occur due to not having enough manpower for all of the work to do, they fire people in great haste and with very little consideration. They release the workers and then they ponder why there is so much workload.
Which brings us to J’s finest hour. As a favor to a fellow worker, I have switched schedules with him in order to accommodate his evening plans. I came on time for his schedule but unfortunately he had come a little late. Toward the end of the day, my fellow coworker has a conversation in the office of one of J’s managers. To pacify the manager, my coworker has offered to stay longer to make up the hours but the manager has declined the offer. As my coworker was leaving, the manager, in his infinite wisdom, cursed out his worker. Being a man of pride, my coworker has confronted him. The following day, he was told he was on thin ice, as this manager cowered in the corner as another had to do his dirty work. He was then promptly fired due to the fact that a manager cursed him out.
In a normal work environment, the management is there to help the employees do their job. It is on this mutual relationship that businesses prosper. J, however, decided to have a different style. The management would not make decisions, as they did not want to be liable. They would always say they would ask someone else. They just wanted to cover their own asses. They would at times tell us to ask on a different day just so they can ask someone else. While they had no problem is forcing us to do their bidding, so to speak, they had a tremendous problem doing anything on our behalf.
They also liked to play a game of “good cop, bad cop” when they had to inform us of anything. They will make it seem like we were in big trouble and that they fought to lower the punishment to whatever it is. In reality, they just wanted that punishment. A coworker of mine was told that he was in trouble and that no manager liked him. The only way he could save his job was to go to a later, and a lesser sought, shift. They pretended to be on your side and blame everything on their superiors, but in reality they were basically autonomous and made the decisions and instituted punishments all on their own.
We did socialize with the managers, joked around. But their feeble egos cannot react properly as soon as their authority is challenged. It is like talking to a bipolar multiple personality disorder patient, unsure which face you will be talking to today. One time a manager walked by and scolded me for having my feet on my desk. While that gripe is understandable, not a week has passed since he was doing the same. I questioned his doing so and his return explained it all: “I’m a manager, I can do it.” Some of the managers asked us to get them food if it was on the way for us when we were doing so. One of the managers asks me to get him food during my lunch hour and then he chides me for being late! I suppose manners were not taught! Not more than four hours have passed that he suspended me because a customer, who was in the wrong, complained about me.
And this is a good segue into J’s biggest downfall: the customer, as wrong as they are, are not always right, but are entitled to presidential treatment when they deserve a straightjacket (literally, in some cases.) The management assumes the customer is always right and allows its employees no chance to defend him or herself. Well, they do. They just do not take that into any consideration; once their mind is made up, it stays that way. The customers would make up any story they could, reality was optional, fact was overlooked. The managers bought their stories. Be it an increase in returns, faulty price adjustments, lies about what they were told, and of course the apparent mistreatment by the workforce. The managers, in their laziness, would oftentimes give customers free items or money back just not to speak to them. While the customer could do no wrong, we were the scapegoats. Be it issues related to the customer’s bad credit or the customers providing wrong information to begin with, we were at fault.
Up until recently, J was involved in a program that allowed people in prisons and mental institutions to call and pretend to do business. These inmates would call up and waste an inordinate amount of time. They were almost always rude. They demanded things that just could not be done. And the saddest thing of all: J probably bid and won such a privilege.
It would seem weird how much went wrong and how little was mentioned of Mr. J, the owner. Mr. J is a man who married well. His wife’s father gave them the money to start the store and this store expanded. Instead of thanking his lucky stars, he relishes in the fact that he is better than everyone. From his speaking manner to his actions, nothing about his screams humble. This man was banned from the store by his wife due to his treatment of employees and customers alike. He is now only allowed into the warehouse, although he is wanted there by no one; it is as if the whole place is on red alert when he is present. He is known for his mood swings and his squeaky voice. He threatens people in all department, claims to know more than we do, and makes up stories when he is proven wrong! While he is not allowed in the store, I have seen him sitting by the store—like a watchdog of sorts. This is from a man who parks on fire hydrants because he is too good to look for a parking spot (proof is readily available.) This is from a man who has physically threatened people to bash their skulls in. This is from a man who would take candy from a baby just to try to get his employees to sell it back!
The year and a half I have spent there was filled humorous stories, had they been featured in a comedic movie. It was full of backstabbing from the managers, absurd rules that they decided to pass, and fake interactions between us. So yes: to err is human. And thank you, J, for the experience that I have received.
As a huge fan of the 80s Horror genre of movies, I’ve decided to go through one of my favorites, A Nightmare on Elm St. This movie was released in late 1984 and I feel it is the best of the series. It was done very well, although I do have gripes with it that I would like to see changed if the movie was ever remade. What I will do is run a play by play of the movie, raving about what I like and ranting about what I do not. Let’s get to the flick.
The opening shot we get is our unidentified friend making what looks to be a glove with knives on the fingers. That’s all we get. That’s all we need. We are in a very unsanitary looking place, and one of our little starlets is wandering around it in a night-gown and barefoot. She seems as confused as we are, various noises and things are happening that make this setting all the more creepy. Our friend with the claw reveals himself to her (but not us). She runs for it. Just as she stops to catch her breath, our still unknown villain jumps up behind her and grabs her, she wakes up and we discover she was just dreaming…or was she? Her gown is torn, for parallel slashes to be exact. Nice touch.
We meet the rest of our team of teens. Of course a conversation of the dream comes up. We move to later in the evening, Tina is having a sleep over to feel better about what is taking place. More detail of the dream is discussed. Turns out that the girl we have met already (Tina) and the second one (Nancy) both dreamt about this creepy gentleman with the claw. Better yet, Nancy’s boyfriend (Glen) flashes them a look while they’re describing this man as if he has too seen him. Freaky huh?
Rod shows up. Although we weren’t 100% sure, Rod is more or less Tina’s main squeeze, as they go off into the other room and do it. Glen and Tina don’t, Glen is bummed. At this point in the movie, Rod and Tina talk a little bit, one of my favorite lines of all time is delivered by Tina, “Jungle man fix Jane.” Not “Tarzan” but “Jungle man.” But she’s Tina, not Jane! Anyway, Rod eludes to the point that he has had nightmares too.
Everyone is now asleep. Tina is woken up by someone throwing things at the window. We then cut to Nancy sleeping, above her the wall starts moving and we can make out an outline of a person within. This was pointless. She’s either sleeping, or dreaming, she isn’t dreaming of sleeping. On a side note, they throw Jesus on a crucifix into this mix a few times. Dumb.
Back to Tina, she decides she is going to go outside and investigate this disruption. She is wearing shirt, that’s all. She’s a 15 year old girl and she is going out to find out who is throwing rocks at the window in the middle of the night by herself…no one ever accused her of being smart I guess. This is probably my favorite scene in the entire movie. Our villain’s official debut. We can tell this is where we will be confronting him. I love this scene. We see his shadow, followed by his appearance. In nightmare-like fashion, he is sporting arms that stretch for a long time.
Does it look goofy here? Yes. This was the 80s, however. The concept is perfect. This can’t happen in reality. She is dreaming. A subtle touch like this makes it clear that we are no it the realm of safety and logic. After informing her that he is God, he runs after her. She runs away and he’s in front of her. She runs in a different direction and he pops out from behind a tiny tree like in a cartoon. Although unlike the lovable Bugs Bunny, he slices his fingers off and reveals he has slime, not blood inside of him. Wow. How do you screw with that? Finally, Tina reaches a dead end and he grabs her. The wrestle around on the floor and she tries to claw at this face. She succeeds in pulling it off, but we discover he doesn’t care. Brilliant use of the nightmare thing again. We then see her from the perspective of someone who is awake. She is getting torn to shreds, levitating and moved up along the wall. She seems to be awake, but it is too late. Rod is confused obviously. He flees. Obviously he is suspected.
Nancy goes to school to forget about this stuff. On her way Rod stops her and tells her he didn’t do it. The cops grab him. We see Nancy in class, she falls asleep and things start happening. The reading aloud one of her classmates was doing becomes a haunting passage about bad dreams. She sees Tina in a body bag and then follows a trail of blood outside in the hall. She’s greeted by a hall monitor who is wearing similar threads to our villian.
After the walks away, the hall monitor is sporting the glove. Yep, we’re dreaming. She ends up wandering to a boiler room, similar to the place we saw in the intro of the movie. She is now face to face with the killer. Again he cuts himself to reveal slime… and maggots.
Finally our villain says “Come to Freddy.” In a panic, Nancy burns herself on a pipe. She awakes screaming in class and takes off. Outside she discover she is actually burned.
She visits Rod who is in jail. He tells her how he saw Tina die and describes the cuts appearing on her body. He now opens up and talks about the guy with the “knives for fingers.” Nancy goes home takes a bath.
After a gratuitous happy shot, her mom wakes her up and tells her she has “heated up some warm milk.” This is a lie, she heated up milk, it is now warm. Nancy is pulled under water and Freddy makes another attempt to at her life. He fails and she begins drinking a lot of coffee and taking pills to stay awake. Glen sneaks over to her house and they talk more. The stress is apparently taking its toll on her. She looks in the mirror and says “I look 20 years old.” This is funny because she actually was, that actress that is. She was playing a 15 year old. She tells Glen to watch her and he falls asleep as well. In her dream she goes to Rod’s jail cell. Freddy walks right through the bars and makes a noose out of his bed sheet and hang him…or does he? He’s no longer a one trick pony now. He is not even sporting his glove in the scene. I like him even more.
Suddenly he is gone and Rod is fine. Nancy then sees Tina standing in the body bag again atop snakes and mud. Freddy makes his attempt at her again. She runs back home. When she gets to the stairs, her feet go through them as if they are marshmallow. Freddy begins breaking into the house, now sporting Tina’s face and speaking in her voice. She says “Save me from…” the voice becomes Freddy’s and he finishes the sentence with “Freddy!” She gets to her room and closes the door. After telling herself this is just a dream while looking in her mirror, Freddy flies out of said mirror They wrestle around and when she wakes up. She chews Glen for sleeping before they rush to the jail just in time to see Rod hanged.
At his funeral, she tells her parents what she’s been seeing. Based on the look they give each other, they know something. By the way, she is wearing a really stand outish blue dress at the funeral where everyone else is wearing black. Her mom takes her to the hospital. She’s having her dreams measured somehow by the guy who did the voice of Roger Rabbit. Her dreams of course go off the scale. We just hear sounds. She wakes up with several cuts on her hand, gray hair, and she is holding the hat we have seen atop Freddy’s head. Back home her mom hides the hat. Something is up here. Nancy apparently sees that the hat reads Freddy’s full name inside of it. Any good dream demon writes his name on his clothes. ROFL
We see Glen and Nancy talking about dreams. Glen seems to know some stuff about dreams and dealing with them. Apparently when you meet a monster in your dream, you turn your back on it, taking away it’s presence and it goes away. Later that night, Nancy’s mom tells her the story of Freddy Krueger. So he was real. Apparently he was a child killer in the neighborhood, and on a technicality was found not guilty. The parents then found him in the boiler room that he hung out in and burned him to death. Another great line, “He’s dead honey because mommy killed him.” Priceless!
She then reveals the glove.
Glen is home watching TV and listening to music. Nancy warns him to not fall asleep. She calls him and the parents don’t want her to talk to him, they keep the phone off the hook. Glen falls asleep. Nancy gets a call from … well, sounds like scraping of knives against metal. She rips the phone out of the wall. It rings again. Freddy delivers the message, “I’m your boyfriend now” and the mouth piece of the phone becomes Freddy’s mouth, with tongue action. Classic!
We seen Glen get pulled into his bed and basically a volcano of blood emerges from it.
Nancy makes a game plan. She sets traps all over the house. She plans to fall asleep for ten minutes and try to wake up while having a hold of Freddy, therefore waking up with him and he will be stuck in reality. She tells her dad (the sheriff) to be at the house at 12:30 exactly to arrest him. Of course he thinks she is nuts and has no intention of doing so. Bad dad.
She finds him. Finally she wakes up while they are wrestling on the ground. We get a classic, “He’s not here…or is he?” She beats him up real good for the next few minutes, the whole time screaming out the window at the cops outside at the recently departed Glen’s house and telling them to come help her. They continue to ignore her. After throwing everything she can at Freddy, she sets him on fire. His reacting is priceless. He seems genuinely scared of fire. Finally they get there. He has found his way up to Nancy’s mother’s room. When they get there, he is on the bed strangling her, still on fire. This is where it falls apart.
After Freddy is struck with a wooden chair, he falls limp and on top of Nancy’s mother. Nancy’s father grabs a blanket and smothers them both to put the fire out. When he pulls it off only the burnt body of the mother remains and under her is a void-looking…thing. She soft of picks her hand up and begins slowly sinking into this void before the surface of the bed disappears and she is apparently gone. The father looks stunned, Nancy asks, “Now do you believe me?” The father doesn’t communicate with her at this point and frankly, I can’t tell what is real and what isn’t at this point. The mom disappearing into the bed is strange as well. Where did Freddy go? Well Nancy tells her father to go downstairs and she will follow. The door closes by itself and when Nancy turns away from the bed, Freddy returns, coming from underneath the sheet and slicing it with his claw to get out. Nancy states that she isn’t afraid, this is just a dream and that she demands her mother and friends again. Freddy makes one more attempt at her and disappears before he can get to her, we hear him screaming. Nancy opens the door and we are outside during a bright morning. Everything seems perfect. The mom is being nice, proclaims she is going to stop drinking and everything. Her friends all pull up to take her to school. As soon as she gets into the car, the top to the convertible closes, red and green stripes like Freddy’s sweater. Apparently this is all happening without anyone’s actions to make it so. The doors lock, windows roll up and the car drives away with them all screaming. The mom waves and Freddy’s arm comes through the window on the door and pulls the mom through. The end.
WTF was that!? So she was still dreaming when she thought she woke up with Freddy? She woke up, everything happened and it was too bad? She fell back asleep? This ending is so lousy! This is the only thing I would change in the movie without any doubt. Either she overcame Freddy, or she didn’t. If you take the answer that she never actually woke up, that would be really neat, but it doesn’t make that clear and doesn’t seem to make any sense. The whole movie I was so happy feeling like we were getting somewhere and then this has to happen. Killing him and being done with it would have given us a good ending with closure. Making it clear that she never woke up would have been cool too. Well a remake is in progress, I guess we’ll see if someone smartened up this time.
This was an awesome show! I had a blast, the set was great, everything sounded good…man was it super! Their crowd is growing, I really hope these guys see a large sum of success really soon, I want them to be around for a while. Everyone there was nodding their heads to the beat and singing along. The best part of the night, however, came right before the show, where as chance would have it, I passed by Chibi (the lead singer) chilling outside! I tried to play cool, but was actually like star struck. It almost seemed surreal. I told her that the album was wonderful and (this is not a lie either) Walking With Strangers is the first album I have listened to from start to finish on a regular basis since Michael Jackson’s Thriller. It took a moment to hit me what was actually taking place, but I finally remembered that I had a camera in my pocket!
Me, M2J with Chibi from Birthday Massacre!
THAT is definitely M2J Style!
(Birthday Massacre’s Myspace)
Yeah, although the name is shamelessly pirated, that’s exactly what this is. In the realm of sales, I lived by an alias of a person who no longer exists. I have so much to say, but want to truncate it for fear of simply rambling too much. The best way to organize my thoughts is categorically, so here goes…
The Workplace:
This dingy, dirty, disgusting warehouse that we worked at was located neighboring a cemetery…yeah, really nice view through the windows which would not open in a room with no immediate fire exit, violating safety codes mind you. Anyhow, getting to work was a trip, because there was a very limited amount of transportation that could actually take you there. The best part is these rare and hard to spot enigmas usually ran on no regular schedule…meaning you could easily be late. Showing up so much as a minute late prompted a response from management with a serious and stern look in your direction followed up with a condescending question with no right answer, “What happened?” There is no right answer to this question, have fun with it, say there was a gun fight and you were almost killed. The best part is the rules get more and more ridiculous as time goes on. One mouse or bug is spotted in the workplace, and we have mandatory face to face meetings with management urging us that we can’t eat at our desks. A week earlier, we are told we can’t take lunch unless it is at a specific time. Forget about eating if you get hungry, because you can’t leave your desk and you can’t eat at it. Starve, and do a good job. Better yet, when it’s busy, work an extra day. If it’s really slow, screw you, sit at your desk and make no money. As salesmen, we work on commission, which brings me to our next topic, customers.
Customers:
My God, how I wanted to say this so many times to the general population of customers out there: FUCK YOU! Yeah, that’s right. If you have ever called a call center, spoken to a salesmen in a store, or ever bothered anyone in your life, a waiter, attendant, paper boy…you should rot in hell. So many times I dealt with someone who had no intention of buying, and acted like I owed it to them to do their bidding. “The customer is always right” bullshit has got to stop. Let me give you people a nice piece of information, if you have ever done the following, you’re regarded as an idiot: Asked a representative a question twice, asked a question twice in a different way, asked for a break on price, acted like you knew how the system worked, acted like you could make no mistakes, asked for a price-match (more on those later), referred yourself as a good customer, answered any questions no one asked, put a rep. on hold for more than 1 minute, asked questions that you really aren’t listening to answers about, pretended you were going to buy to get more help, called to complain about a representative that really didn’t do anything wrong, asked for a better price and were not even going to buy, …you know I could go on forever.
As far as the price matching or price breaks go, when you work on commission, if you discount anything, it’s money out of your pocket. All you people who have wanted your “fair price” are cheats. You should have bad karma, and if anything bad happened to you around the time you did that and you asked God why…now you know why. The worst part about being a salesman at this place was that you couldn’t even tell customers you’re on commission. If someone calls up and is wasting your time, you can’t even get rid of them. You people (some of you) are maggots and should be stomped out of existence accordingly. I hope you know who you are and maybe knock it off starting right now.
Management:
These fucking guys … what a joke. They have secured a half-way decent job and cover their asses by looking to pick you off at the first sign of slipping on anything. Their job was to threaten you and keep you scared. You’d pretty much discover that they were all bipolar or schizophrenic. You never knew which of the manager’s personalities you were going to speak to. Each month, we were rated based on a number of categories…like a million of them. If your numbers slipped on one of them, it was a huge deal. We would actually receive write-ups (you know, like in High School) about these “slips.” Being that we get numerous calls of all sorts, you would think one would accept that this isn’t a science, and can’t be treated as such. They would play number games, generating percentages and holding it against you, of course if you made a mistake once, they didn’t weigh percentages then, they chewed you out. If you didn’t perform to their standards, which were completely subjective on a person to person basis, you would be threatened with being pushed down to a lower shift, suspensions, even terminations…yes, you could be fired for not selling enough warranties. Think about that next time you buy a TV or something and you’re offered a warranty. If you can afford it, just fucking buy it. You haven’t the slightest idea how hard you’re making a salesman’s life. This is why salesman try so hard to get you to buy shit that you usually don’t want. If they don’t move enough merchandise, they find themselves leaving a dirty warehouse in the middle of nowhere at 9 PM on a Sunday night every week. Ultimately if they didn’t like you, usually they couldn’t fire you unless you committed some outlandish behavior. They would just make your life hell until you quit.
My Co-workers:
You bond with your mates very fast because you all feel like a team being treated like garbage. A few salesmen will stab you in the back, but for the most part everyone sympathizes with you. You’re one of the gang. The first time you get written-up, usually the gang will greet you with smiles and refer to your cherry-popping. People there are over-worked and under-appreciated. The people that are there for a long time are taken for granted. Many people there are just stuck there, and the company knows this, so they push you and threaten you and constantly make you feel like you’re nothing without them and they are doing you a huge favor by forcing you to come in 6 days a week, 9 hours a day. You would think that management would feel some pity, never. They all cower and the beckon call of the mighty owner, making a zillion times more money than the rest of the staff combined. As time goes on, benefits disappear. Insurance plans get worse, match 401K out the window because the company “isn’t doing so well,” and then you have to listen to the owners spew out that they’re having the greatest year ever!
I really could rant about this forever, but I’ll stop here and spare you all. The bottom line about a place like this is pretty basic: After a while, you look around and realize there is no room for growth. My life was frozen virtually while I was there. I progressed zero in all that time. I found myself 3 years older and just angrier. Maybe work universally sucks, most people will agree, but work can suck Monday through Friday 9-5, not 9 hours on weekends, nights, and holidays, thank you.
I also posted this one on BWOAK. Texas Instruments has come up with a technology that allows for one TV to show individual gamers each a different screen via special glasses (along with the special TV). This is a technology they call “DLP DualView.” At the right price, this would be a great idea. At the moment, it’s stupid – here’s why.
The TV: This piece was quoted at CES as costing $1899. Bare in mind this is a DLP TV for later. Apparently there are two ways to use the TV. The first is that it can create 3D video by displaying dual images and the glasses would sort it out (which you can do with regular sets anyway) and the other is that it will filter out one of the video feeds so you can only see one (again via the glasses). The idea is that people look on your screen and use info that they would not realistically have access to to aid them. Some people call this cheating, I think it also can be classified as what’s called “meta-gaming.” No now instead of being able to do that, you’d get a jumble on the screen, something like what is pictured below. Is this really that useful?
The Glasses: $199 – with the hope that it will come down to $99 at some point. So right of the bat, for this to make any sense at all, you need two pairs of these, $498. So we’re roughly at $2400 dollars. Now wear the glasses, you feel like an idiot.
Oh yeah, you’ll have to have two game consoles. Let’s play the devil’s advocate and say that your friend is going to lug his over for this event, despite the simple labor of this being annoying. Now Player 3 shows up, “Hey guys can I play?” Nope! So this technology is useful if you only hang out with one person at a time who has the same game console and game as you…and feels like bringing it over. Or…here’s an alternative to what you can do with that same $2400 dollars…
You can buy 2 flat panel plasma TVs. Let’s go with the Panasonic TH-42PX75U, which I just found on Amazon for $1099. Two of them, $2200. DLP technology was great when it was the affordable alternative to big-screen flat panels. The price of plasmas and LCDs has dropped significantly in the last few years, many DLP manufacturers have fled the DLP (or any other projection) TV market all together. I selected plasma for the sake of this example since I feel it is simply the best picture there is. Moving right along, now you have two displays and you can feel like a king. Now you have $200 dollars left still. You and your one friend can have a nice meal together at a fancy restaurant for like $100. Maybe you can buy a new game on the way home…and then because this advice was so helpful donate the remaining $50 to us! 🙂
Everybody should know by now, that if it’s not M2J Style, it’s not in style. Well a lot of you folks use stuff that you don’t need to use, or don’t use stuff you wish you had or don’t even know exists. These are apps that are useful to just about anyone, or simply better versions of something you use already.
Video Players: So there’s a lot of video formats out there now and usually any given player only can play 2 or 3 of them. Usually this player is well known, but in case you’ve never heard of it before, there’s a program called VLC, which has built-in codecs for just about any video format you throw at it and a slew of options to optomize playback and performance. There is also a competing product out there called GOM. It is a very similar application and ever bit as useful. Take your pick.
Music: Boy there are a lot of music players out there now. Winamp was the best, but now it sucks. I recommend foobar2000. It has a very similar interface, with some excellent customization settings. It plays a greater variety of file formats and the tabbed playlists rock.
A neat little trick: You can install something called “Real Alternative” on your machine, which allows Real Media files to be played on Windows Media Player, instead of having to get the actual Real Player and ruining your computer. There is also a Quicktime version of this as well, but I have had less luck with it over the past few months.
For an Instant Message Program: There’s a darling universal app for this called Pidgin. Unlike AIM, Yahoo, Google Talk, it does not suck, but you can use any of those services. I suggest you try it and stop using whatever stupid program you’re using.
Zip Files: Use 7-zip, simple as that.
Web Browser: You’re not still using that old Firefox, are you? Flock is such a cool browser and has so many useful utilities built right in. You facebook, flickr, blogging and youtube junkies will take note of this immediately.
Torrents: µTorrent (“µ” is actually a character which means “micro,” but is generally referred to as “U” to make things simple.) Amazing little app, light and full of little features which I find to be very important.
PDF Readers: Yeah, you don’t have to use Adobe Reader, since…you know…it sucks. Foxit is a way better method. Unlike Adobe Reader, it’s light and doesn’t crash every friggin’ time you run it. Oh yeah, it also doesn’t install all this crap you don’t want all over the place.
PDF Writers: You can also create your own documents in this format by using CutePDF. Once installed, it basically shows up as a printer, which you can select for print and it will save to this format.
Well, this is just stuff I use frequently. I dunno if there are any big ones I’m forgetting. Mayhaps I have suggested one over the years that you may want to remind me of. I hope someone out there finds at least one app here new and/or useful. Just for the sake of looking cool, I popped the icons for all these apps down below, which are also links to said apps.
Although I have complained about customers in the past, this rant is more of a plea to ask that they (possibly you) just learn how to act as a customer. Too often customers come at you from the wrong angle, behave radically, or just act like jerks. Part of the problem is most of you have no concept of what being on the other side is like. Frankly, whichever comedian who ever said that everyone should work retail or wait tables as a job at least once is absolutely right. Hopefully this will enlighten you. I have accumulated some backup for this adventure however. The famous Denis K. who ranted about bad drivers now joins me as a fellow salesman…well former salesman, heh. To make the compiling of this work easier to follow, all M2J sections are in red, and all Denis K. shall be plain.
As a salesman I can tell you that if you contact a call center or walk into a retail store and speak to a salesman, in the sales department…sales, retail, and you don’t want to buy anything, you’re an idiot. Regardless of how justified you think you are, no, you are regarded as an idiot.
Although technically not a barter system, we still live in an environment where exchanges take place. People trade their money for goods and services of others. Smart business owners realized that they could merge these and trade money for goods and services. This has led to the initiation of salesmanship. These salesmen provided their service in order to sell a good. This is the basis of economy.
While most people realize that they need a salesman to aid them, the predominant majority has no clue on how to act in front of them and what they should or should not say. The salesmen contribute to the economy by being a means of currency redistribution but the general public still insists on their mannerless interactions.
I would really like to complain about assholes who fucking pump you for information and then either will buy somewhere else, or ask you to match a price of a so-called “competitor.” If they were really competition you would have bought from them. Part of what you’re paying for, at least what need to realize you’re paying for, is the service part of the equation. Do you like being able to call up anytime you want and ask 1000 questions? Try that shit at a Best Buy or any of these bullshit Internet retailers that you would never even buy from, none-the-less call up.
People seem to think that salesmen are there only to take their money and do nothing further. But what they do not realize is that treating them as such is counterproductive—especially when there is something that they need. However, when they need something, they will not let any of the salesman’s constraints stop them from asking a barrage of questions.
Yes, salesmen are there to make money off of commissions from the products they sell to their customers but that does not mean that the customer has to point that out. Especially in an industry with return customers, it is in the salesman’s best interest to do their best by the customer. However, certain people feel it is their duty, nay their goal in life, to point this out. In actuality, this is quite counterproductive as instead of thwarting the salesman’s tactics, it invites more. The salesman will have no desire to help such a customer—even if it costs them their commissions. A close relative of the aforementioned problem is the customer who finds it necessary to insult the salesman. Unless provoked, the customer has no reason to do this. Again, it is counterproductive. Insulting a person whose job it is to take your money is inviting displeasure.
Another type of customer we can do without is a rude one. There are several varieties of this nuisance, be it one who shows no respect to the salesman or one who criticizes everything that is said and done. A customer who does not even bother to say a simple hello or a different greeting of their choosing is rude. He simply goes into his shtick about needing help or having a question he needs answered. Another further type of this customer is one when asked “How can I help you?” responds with something that does not even remotely begin to answer such a question. Instead of actually explaining what they need help with, they cast doubt on the salesman by saying “I certainly hope so!” There is not much to expect from this jewel of a customer. His time is simply more important!
The above mentioned somewhat rings a bell of “The Prick” customer whom I have mentioned before. Treating people like they’re beneath you when you want their help is a huge mistake. If they are really beneath you, you wouldn’t need their help. Snap out of it. You catch more flies with sugar than vinegar.
It is extremely rude (and I cannot stress that enough) to hang up on a over-the-phone salesman because you were not satisfied with the answer. That is akin to walking away from a salesman right in front of you because the device in mind does not meet some sort of convoluted objective that the customer has made up. Even if not satisfied, a customary “thank you” is in order. Acting as such ensures that on your trip back, the salesman will do their best to not help you as much as they can.
People who act in this manner are bullies. Unfortunately this isn’t grade-school and a salesman isn’t able to respond by socking this customer in the face. I remember a quote I once read that went something to the tune of, “Anyone you think is a nice person, but isn’t nice to waiters, isn’t a nice person.” This is applies to salesman and any other similar line of work as well.
As previously mentioned, most salesman have no need to lie. It would follow that the customer would not need to lie as well. To the salesman’s hindrance, that is not always the case. Since salesmen work with people every day, hours at a time, it is not to the customer’s benefit to flat out lie. Even over-the-phone salesmen can pinpoint liars and fibbers. Lying ensures an inferior service as an appropriate product is not selected nor is the salesman able to provide worthwhile advice.
I would like to throw in a slight amendment to this. If you as a customer are ever stupid enough to ask a question like, “Is this product good?” the answer is always yes, unless you are considering buying a more expensive item to begin with. A lot of people ask this question after they are practically done with buying it. What salesman is ever going to say, “Actually no, let me refund your money and stop you from making a mistake and buying this.” “Good” can be a relative term people.
It is perfectly understandable to expect certain things from a salesman. It is not out of the ordinary to ask a salesman for a price match when it is a policy of the company. It is however a different thing when they demand such a thing. Most, if not all, of these people realize that some of the prices they see are ridiculously low. Ridiculously low to the extent that they cannot possibly be a legitimate price. But that does not stop they from wanting your superior service at a price fit only a phony company. Threatening the salesman is ill-advised, as is yelling and promising a law suit. If they want such a price, they can simply purchase it from where they have seen it. If trust does not exist, why should this price even be considered?
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Just like above, you really should understand why there’s such a price difference between retailers. You think it’s okay to buy from them? Buy from them!
I would also like to remind all of you idiots out there, have your shit ready when you call any call center for anything! You know when you pick up the phone and call a center for whatever reason and get hit with a long hold time? Assholes like you are why that happens. Do salesmen a favor while you’re at it, don’t call up a sales line unless you want to buy something. Don’t start your research by effectively asking a salesman to do it for you. Do your own research, narrow your own selection. You’re a grown up for God sakes! You’ll find that you’ll not only be able to answer your own questions with just a little bit of research, but you’ll actually learn something in the process, that my friends is priceless. At the end of the research process, take your credit card out and perhaps have one or two questions ready. After the questions have been answered by the experts that you called for help, buy the item and pay full price!
Just remember, when you go into a retail situation as a customer, don’t be a dick. You’re dealing with some poor chap trying to make a living and get through the rat race just like you. Think about what you’re asking of someone, especially if their livelihood depends on you buying something and you waste their time knowing you’re not going to. You wouldn’t be happy if you were forced by some idiot to take unpaid time off of work for no reason. Believe me folks, if I ever run into you in a retail store giving the staff a hard time … they can’t say anything to you, but you better believe I will!
If World History were Professional Wrestling…
Obviously, I’m not going to venture back to the beginning of time. Let us travel back to the middle 1930s. Here’s the setting, America is a top performer drawing a lot of cheers and applause, not quite a main-eventer, but has been a face and getting a push for a while. America had quite a history of its own. Formerly part of the “British Empire” stable along with England, America broke away from them years back and stepped out of the shadow with an upset victory, shocking the world. Ever since then, America had a fruitful solo career. Some time had passed and now and elsewhere, Germany had teamed up with Japan and was in a feud with England who had to make a deal with the devil to fight these two off and join forces with Russia.
One day, Japan stopped America backstage and peaceful words were exchanged, both sides agreeing to steer clear of one-another. America started to walk away after this conversation and Japan quickly acquired and chair and whacked America in the back of the head. …A Pearl Harbor job – if you will. So America joined up with the alliance of Russia and England. The were called “The Allied Forces.” The team of Japan and Germany was “the Axis Powers.” This was war.
After a grueling feud, the Allied Forces triumphed, the final battle was a no disqualification “I quit” match pitting America against Japan. After a while, it appeared America was invincable and emotionally had snapped. After beating Japan to a bloody pulp, America took a sledgehammer to the back of the head of Japan. After Japan refused to say “I quit,” America nailed him again. Finally Japan quit, and America was named the winner and new World Champion!
America was the hottest star now. Everyone knew America, whether you watched wrestling or not. It was a household name. America cereal boxes, America T-shirts, America action figures, he was unstoppable. Well, years went by, America had many feuds, successful title defenses and a legacy that seemed like it would be on route to the Hall of Fame. But the something happened, America got cocky. America began telling everyone he was the best. Despite up and coming superstars displaying a wealth of talent, America began becoming more and more self-absorbed. America began insisting they had all kinds of attributes going for them, which in reality were all old stories that everyone had heard before. America never even attempted to defend the title, he just would rant and bicker about how great he was. The fans got bored with this and began to boo. America apparently felt as though they were still in the limelight. America was stripped of the title whilst the young talent-pool had a tournament to determine who would be the new champion. A new belt was given to the winner. Who won? It doesn’t matter, America still thinks he’s the champ, and still wears the old belt completely unaware that the world has passed him. America is the first one to tell you all the great things he’s done, despite that none of it has taken place anytime recently. America is a heel now folks. He’s snapped, gone completely crazy and consequently turned his back on all of his fans. America now attacks fellow competitors for no reason, cuts promos against others who also haven’t done anything, stating they’re “next.” Hopefully America will see the light down the road, perhaps win the actual world title, once again. Until then, America needs to be BOOed, and louder…until he can actually hear it, because he needs to start listening.
First, did you catch Tin Man? Well if you didn’t, catch Tin Man. I was lukewarm to the idea of a spin on The Wizard of Oz, this is definitely a 180, but quite fun to enjoy. The chick that they cast as Dorot- I’m sorry, “DG” is something of a weak actress, but the show is still pretty sweet and to her credit, some of those lines nobody could deliver well. I’m not sure where they got the name. The “Tin Man” isn’t exactly the star of the show, nor is it centered around him really. Although there is no official “Wizard of Oz” or even the merry old land of Oz technically, you’ll quickly see how they work things in cleverly. The world we are a part of is called the “Outer Zone.” The homage payments to the famous story are plentiful, believe me. This gives me hope that I can one day make my version of the 1939 movie, which is pretty much the same as the movie, except with Hulk Hogan as part of the team. Anyway, what was nice about this story was that it seemed to exist independently of the 1939 classic, carefully paraphrasing and not quoting.
…and then they released the wolves. (See, this post for that reference.)
[SPOILER ALERT!] In the last installment of this mini series, they tie the story into the original movie, very poorly as well. First of all, a movie like The Wizard of Oz is extremely sacred and if you dare fuck with it on any level, you need to do it right. Rather than bore you with the details of the scene, just watch it here, we’ll discuss afterwards…
So why did I dislike this? We have a whole story here operating on its own and now, as if we somehow need to give this tale credibility, we go back and say, “Look! It’s all connected!” Dorothy, in case you have forgotten, WAS DREAMING! It was all a dream! Remember? “You were there, you were there…” So, some 2-bit Sci-fi mini series writer just called Noel Langley a liar. Now, some of you who know more about the Wizard of Oz are aware that the movie is originally a novel written by L. Frank Baum, in which the adventure is not a dream, but in fact real. If you’re willing to buy that, fine, but we’re dealing with the moving pictures here. Frankly, that’s the version of the story we take for granted, coupled with fact that Dorothy Gale and the surroundings are black and white in this interactive tomb-simulation thing that she eternally rests in (despite the fact that she returned home and it was just a dream and how in the hell is she buried in Oz, or the “O.Z.?”). Now, to make this story fall apart further, if you buy the original story being reality, then what about the faux-wizard who ended up in Oz before Dorothy? Then he would be the first “slipper.” Finally, damn it all to hell, who they hell did they get to play Dorothy? Dorothy, portrayed by Judy Garland, was a very timid character. Despite this, they cast the role now as a ghostly, know-it-all, creepy little girl version of Dorothy, one I would liken to them whack-jobs from the hotel in the movie The Shining (the 1980 version of course). Based on the shot of Dorothy’s shoes, one could determine if the Dorothy we’re tying into here is the novel or movie Dorothy, if it wasn’t in black and white! In the novel, they were silver. They were made ruby for the movie, however, she never had these in black and white Kansas, which doesn’t help any. Dorothy was also less timid in the book, but that’s a far cry from creepy dead Dorothy pictured here.
I guess based on this research, we would have to guess that we were dealing with the novel version of Dorothy Gale (more or less). I just don’t see why they had to go this route. It’s the last 20 minutes of the final part of the series, they have already hooked us. I guess they felt the needed it for an inflated “cool factor.” The inconsistency is that the whole movie is self-contained. We suddenly are made to incorporate both stories together. Why isn’t it “Oz” then? Why isn’t it the “Emerald City.” All things considered, the series was entertaining and I’m willing to grit and bare the bad and unnecessary tie in with the original story. I just (as always) needed to complain.