Author Archives: M2J

WWE Raw 8/2/2010

Posted on by

0

9:00 – Ok, we really need a good Raw tonight, last week was utter garbage. TNA Impact was better on Thursday. TNA!
9:03 – 3 minute opening? That’s a bad sign if they’re starting off with filler. Hopefully they won’t pull what they did last week and show the same promo in the middle again.
Ooh, Miz Vs Orton, good! Uh oh, Cena movie trailer, more filler!
9:10 – This promo is boring me. Why would R-Truth even care if Edge wanted to face Wade Barrett? Does anyone notice each week that Michael Cole announces that he has an email from the GM, he does it slower and slower, almost as if he’s trying to be as annoying as possible.
9:21 – At least this has been a relatively solid match thus far. I find it hard to believe Edge will go over. It wouldn’t make the Nexus look good.
9:22 – Just when I thought the match was gonna start really getting interesting… sigh…
9:25 – So far, in 26 minutes, we’ve had 6 minutes of wrestling. R-Truth and Edge had way too much time to not put either of them over or progress anything – which led to a match where nothing ultimately happened.
9:28 – So a half hour of nonsense to get to the point of Edge quitting the team. That could have been set up in the first 3 minutes. This sucks. At least they’re about to show a recap of Bret Vs Perfect from Summer Slam 1991.
9:31 – It’s probably a mistake to show one of the best matches of all time, ever, during a Raw that is just not cutting it.
9:33 – Teasing a Khali Nexus switch – I’d prefer he be where I am the night of Sumer Slam, sitting at home watching it on TV, because he really doesn’t belong in this match at all anyway. I’d almost rather see him turn on team WWE. When he was a heel, he was world champion. Now hes’s a face, he kisses old women and always loses.
9:36 – Oh Jesus, a divas’ tag match? Here’s a list of what this will do for any of them:
…this concludes the list of things this match will do for any of them. Where’s Milena been?
9:38 – Alicia Fox sure is sexy.
9:39 – Gail Kim sure is sexy.
9:40 – The wise thing to do here would be to somehow work Alicia Fox and Tamina. That would be the wise thing.
9:41 – Nope, the match is over. This match did nothing for anyone. Uh oh, Fox is bragging. She just said there wasn’t a diva that she hadn’t beaten… TAMINA right there! Oh well, I had a feeling this was just cannon fodder for Milena to come back. I knew she was over an injury and was waiting to come back. I was just hoping we’d get something new.
9:48 – So 10 minutes of wrestling in 48 minutes. Yeah, I’m keepin’ track. Do us a favor and DON’T tease the Miz cashing in this week. It will get old. Now, who’s jobbing to Sheamus?
9:49 – At least Goldust is getting a pay day! At least Goldust handed him his first loss! Of course, they don’t want us to remember that. Hey, I am pretty sure I was at the event last year when they met. Sheamus said after the match, something like, “I came in search of gold, but all I got was gold dust.”
9:52 – This isn’t only a job, this is a squash.
9:53 – About 13 minutes of wrestling so far.
9:55 – Ok, so we have Jericho Vs. Cena, DiBiase Vs Khali and Orton Vs. Miz tonight. Hopefully we’ll have some more action in this hour.
10:00 – I can’t really predict the outcome of this one. Jericho has never beat Cena, so that seems unlikely, but both outcomes would make the Summer Slam match interesting. This is a tough one. Of course, there’s no guarantee that this match will have a definitive outcome…
10:04 – The Cena waiting until a nine count and tearing ass back into the ring is getting old.
10:07 – I feel like this is the first match of the evening.
10:10 – I wonder if Jericho will go for the liontamer and miss it in this match.
10:13 – Huh? He did the lionsault, but it … either missed, or Cena didn’t get out of the way on time, or just sloppy selling on Cena’s part.
10:16 – Again, why would Jericho fight that entire match trying to win, and tap immediately before the STF was even locked in?
10:19 – Alright, so no more Jericho, no more Edge. Khali will probably be replaced by DiBiase tonight… is Bret going to re-assemble everyone next week or something?
10:27 – I like Edge and Jericho smoothing things over. What’s with this ridiculous match next week? Is the Nexus going to attack the WWE superstars and they’ll have to fight side by side anyway?
10:40 – YAWN Khali wins. Miz main eventing??
10:44 – WTF is this?? What is this, Entertainment Tonight?
10:46- Thank God, I waited an hour and forty-seven minutes to see the Miz.
10:52 – It just dawned on me, The Nexus really hasn’t done very much tonight. Are we about due?
10:59 – Michael Cole being into the Miz is so weird. Just turn him into the heel commentator, we don’t need no ‘tweeners.
11:04 – Match of the night. Still a weak Raw.

Rating: ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆

WWE Raw 7/26/2010

Posted on by

2

9:00 – Let’s rock and roll! Obligatory recap of last week, oh criminy, is there a guest host tonight?
9:03 – Cena starting off the show. This promo is going to be kind of useless until someone joins in. I guess I’ll just have to grit and bare it.
9:07 – Hey an interruption! Welcome, Jericho!
Wouldn’t it be amazing if one of these guys defected AT Summer Slam?
9:09 – Wow, the crowd’s really popping for Y2J
9:13 – Cena does well going from comedy to drama quickly. Jericho being difficult, as always, is working well also.
9:16 – Did anyone thinking Summer Slam WOULDN’T be an elimination match? Oh good, we’ve resumed the using catch phrases of past superstars.
Well that segment was ok, the faces and the heels are going to have beef being on the same side. Sounds about right…

9:20 – I hope this isn’t going to be Miz Vs. R Truth, this feud is worn out.
9:23 – Why doesn’t Orton wear any wrist tape? It just looks weird. Who is Orton squashing this week. I take that back, who is he going to have a brief match with and then Sheamus will interfere?
9:26 – I feel like Vince McMahon has given me a very limited education about Samoans. Basically, they’re kind of black, they have big asses, and like to head-butt people.
9:27 – So Sheamus waited until after the match…
9:28 – Miz with another cash-in tease?

I still dislike very much that on a wrestling show, we’ve had only 4 minutes of wrestling in a half hour. That’s not a good ratio.
9:31 – I wouldn’t mind not having the Khali in the Summer Slam match. I don’t much care for him. He can’t bump and he always loses anyway.

9:36 – Wow, they just showed the boat ride I went on in San Antonio. Hard to believe I was there. Ooh, Miz and Sheamus!! Michael Cole has received another manager…
9:38 – OMG They’re gonna show the Warrior!! Since Hulk Hogan went over to TNA, Vince doesn’t seem to hate Macho Man or the Warrior as much anymore.
9:39 – “I heard what you said about Khali earlier” – how about it was on NATIONAL LIVE TV!? Does anyone want to see Khali go over?
9:46 – Well the Nexus just saved us from this match.
9:48 – Edge Vs Khali + Nexus = no match and a waste of our time. That wasn’t even a match. We’ve still only had 4 minutes of action.

9:52 – This match will eat up some time if it’s elimination, unless the Nexus dominates, which isn’t impossible.
9:53 – Michael Cole announcing by himself makes me feel like I’m being punished. Well, Yoshi just went to waste, I remember when he was on ECW and he actually got used and won matches.
9:58 – So Lawler is gone.
9:59 – Um, is Slater using the Zig Zag? Doesn’t someone else have dibs on that move?
10:03 – I’m gonna go raid my fridge. I’ll be back after Kidd is eliminated and then Bourne has the big display of heart and still loses.
10:06 – I just got my hands on some chocolate and peanut butter in the kitchen. Now that I’m in the living room again, it looks as though Evan Bourne is being brutalized. Does that mean I was right?
10:13 – I love the Miz. That is all.
10:17 – A Bella is wrestling?? That doesn’t happen. I guess that means one of them is getting squashed?
10:21 – Vegetable of the day… squash.
10:26 – You know what would be awesome? If the reason R-Truth is at ringside for this Morrison/DiBiase match is because he’s going to turn on Morrison and take up DiBiase’s offer to be the new Virgil. He really needs something to do.
10:28 – I love Maryse. That is all.
10:30 – Well at least there’s a conflict. I was hoping for that. It will make the dynamic of the Raw team at Summer Slam even more hostile.

10:37 – Are they showing us the same recap as the beginning of the show? FILLER! Can’t we get Zack Ryder in a match or something?
10:40 – Typical Orton promo, he’s better when he’s sharing interview time with an opponent. Looks like our main event is getting ready.

10:48 – I Just realized that I hadn’t written anything in a while and then realized, that’s because nothing has happened. Basically, nothing happened for the last 18 minutes in this show. This Raw isn’t so hot.
10:51 – This crowd seems to be pro-Y2J. I wonder if they’re going to throw us any double teams between Cena and Jericho, such as the famed FURKO Cena did with Orton.
10:54 – Oooh, an attitude adjustment into a code-breaker could work really well.
10:56 – Jericho totally did a babyface showboat after drop-kicking Sheamus off the apron.
11:00 – Sheamus totally stole Jericho’s “ask him” just now.
11:02 – Stupid ending. Why would Jericho make an effort to win the match that whole time JUST to turn on Cena? Lousy ending to the match.
11:04 – Ok, the whole team is a mess. 86 the entire team and get some guys that actually get along. There’s a month until Summer Slam. Oh well, crappy Raw overall.
Rating: ★★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆

WWE Raw 7/19/2010 Review

Posted on by

0

I’ve decided to make an attempt at playing the role of an analyst for WWE programming. After last night’s solid ‘Money in the Bank’ payperview, I’m going to begin with the following Raw.

9:00 – The show opens up with a triple threat match to determine who will challenge for the WWE Championship at Summer Slam in a month. Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, then Edge make their way to the ring. These three guys are fully capable of main eventing. This seems out of place for a show opener. Perhaps we will have a swerve?

9:15 – As expected, these three are performing solidly, after a commercial break, we return very methodically paced action. If this match is really going to determine the next challenger, it’s hard to believe Jericho or Edge will win, with Orton being the white hot babyface. Edge Vs. Sheamus or Jericho Vs. Sheamus, although would be excellent matches with great promos to boot, probably would fail to draw as much as Orton Vs. Sheamus.

On a side note, these three guys were part of the Money in the Bank main match last night and all lost, as did Bourne, Morrison, DiBiase and Mark Henry. What makes them eligible to compete for the number one contender’s spot? A fresh face maybe nice to see. Come on WWE, these guys have all be World Champions or WWE Champion before.

9:20 – Does Jericho ever hit the lionsault anymore?

9:21 – Well, Orton was the victor. DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING!

9:27 – Edge calling Jericho to the ring… what could this be? Career-ending match? Truce? Loser leaves Raw?

9:28 – The “this thing between us has been going on for 11 years” thing is such retrofitting nonsense.

9:31 – So now with the Nexus turns on Jericho next? Seems right…

9:33 – I’m just waiting for a Cena run-in, followed by emails from the G.M.

9:39 – Sheamus is flirting with the enemy, seems interesting. I don’t know about Mathews calling the Nexus the most powerful group in WWE history… seems like we’re forgetting DX, Hart Foundation, Los Boricuas … ok scatch that last one. John Cena asking for a face to face? Teasing a turn? I’d say that means it isn’t going to happen. Why are we having a Henry Vs. Barrett match? Is it to tell the audience what a powerful force Henry is only to job him to Barrett? I guess that could work.

9:48 – Eve Torres to face Maryse (accompanied by Ted Dibiase). Anyone notice the black and gold coat Maryse was wearing? Shades of the Million Dollar Man! Maryse is going over, by hook or by crook.

9:51 – I’m shocked, both that I was wrong and that… the face has a tainted victory. When does the heel ever lose by the ref not seeing the foot on the rope?? Well at least John Morrison did that move that looks great, but never hits the mark. That whole segment was actually pointless.

9:57 – Sheamus out … he’ll probably talk for a few minutes, then we’ll get either Barrett or Orton (or both out) for an eye to eye. At least I hope so. We don’t have a lot of time to build this castle we call “Summer Slam 2010.”

10:01 – Yay, my favorite wrestler and the best wrestler in the world right now, The Miz, has just came to make this promo … awesome!

I really hope The Miz isn’t the first guy to ever cash in his Money in the Bank and lose. I’d be really unhappy. He needs to be the champion for a long, long time.

10:05 – G.M. email, Sheamus Vs. Evan Bourne, I had a feeling they’d announce him. I don’t expect him to win or deal that much damage to Sheamus. The Miz being the guy stalking his prey, waiting to pounce is an excellent device that I know he’ll utilize to the fullest.

10:19 – I didn’t think they were going to waste a Money in the Bank right away. I figured when The Miz cashed in and Sheamus was not responding, something would happen and The Miz would retreat with the MITB still in tact. The crowd was loving it though. The Miz is over, even being a heel.

10:25 – Great promo by The Miz, of course, what promo of his isn’t great? Summer Slam promo, showing us the 1998, featuring Jim Ross saying it was the “tenth annual Summer Slam.” It was actually the 11th, but who is counting. Oh yeah, me. Finally, our face to face with Orton and Sheamus. I think we get it, the champion has a target/bullseye on his back.

10:32 – Santino and Kozlov – time for our comic relief for the evening. Zack Ryder and William Regal?? Why is Zack Ryder being wasted like this? How many weeks in a row do we have to see Regal, Kozlov and Santino doing this tired routine? Maybe they’ll swerve us and Zack Ryder will pull off a win and throw some “L I” hand signals around. …I can dream, can’t I?

10:36 – Oh look, Santino and Kozlov won, maybe they’ll challenge the Harts next week?

10:40 – Wade Barrett out to face Mark Henry. I guess this is the last match, before our main event… which will be John Cena not joining the Nexus? Hmm, Sheamus is up against Orton for Summer Slam, Cena doesn’t have much to do, a Cena/Nexus program for Summer Slam seems in order. Could it just be Cena Vs. Barrett though? I feel like a big tag team match, or something else would need to be in order. Barrett and Cena wouldn’t exactly be a draw. Maybe some more of their master plan will be revealed. Maybe it will involve this anonymous G.M.?

10:45 – Barrett almost killed himself, but he pulled it off, he did his fireman’s carry into a slam maneuver. It’s only 10:45 though, we have a lot of time for stuff to happen. Poor Barrett is still holding his back… Hope he didn’t hurt himself too much.

10:53 – “Nexus Sucks More Than Texas” sign in the audience. I dunno if I agree with that, the Nexus angle is pretty good so far, where Texas… well it’s Texas… Oh Cena’s finally out. Let’s see where this goes, or doesn’t go.

10:57 – Are they trying to replicate Hogan joining the Outsiders? I can’t really imagine Cena joining the group of noobs, it wouldn’t turn Cena heel, he’d just be a reluctant participant. Who would he feud with? Would he turn his back on his “friend” Mark Henry?

11:00 – I’m waiting for the swerve…

11:02 – 7 on 7 at Summer Slam? That’ll be interesting. I would like to see one superstar defect to the Nexus, but this could draw some buys. So it’s Edge, R-Truth, Morrison, Khali, Jericho, Cena, and BRET?!? Ok, didn’t see that coming! Interesting dynamic.

Overall, not a bad show! We didn’t hear too much from the G.M. though. That’s probably a good thing. Maybe I’ll chime in for one of these other shows this week, Smackdown, NXT, Impact! (barf). We’ll see…

Things I’ve Learned from Pro Wrestling

Posted on by

0

The good guy doesn’t always win.

Even at your dream job, you may get stuck with an asshole boss.

I learned words like, “tenacity” and “fortitude,” some other greats; prowess, acumen, reign…

I learned a lot of anatomy too; solar plexus, carotid artery, meniscus, clavicle – as well as slang terms, like “bread basket.”

Everybody has a price, everybody.

A good entrance is always a huge plus.

Your most beloved heroes can really disappoint you.

Your most hated nemesis can suddenly see the error of their ways.

Speaking your mind is usually the best course of action. If people dislike you because of your stance, that’s their choice, at least they know who you are.

Charisma is a must in life.

Be careful of people who are just using your to get to the next level (or what they think is the next level).

Some people change by pretending to be someone else, but some people change because they stop pretending.

Always part on good terms, if possible.

Neglected

Posted on by

0

Sorry, I’ve been seriously neglecting this website. I should be doing more on here, but I’m spread so thin, facebook, twitter, youtube, foursquare, yelp, etc. It never ends. It’s hard to focus on just one place, especially since hardly anyone would want to come to this website when facebook seems to be the main place everyone is going to see anything having to do with one’s life. I’m getting kind of sick of facebook for some reason. I’d be sick of twitter too, if twitter actually, like were a lot of work. I used to just post cool stuff I found on twitter, but now it’s more of a place to just put stuff that pops into my head. I think it maybe time to revert back to that. I can’t imagine anyone wants to see me talk about eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or being on he bus next to a pimply-faced moron standing too close to me. Besides, anything on this website is mine. Anything I post on twitter, facebook, etc, belongs to them. Facebook hasn’t been the most trustworthy website when it comes to ownership or privacy lately. If I have this website, I may as well use it.

Wrestlemania 26 Thoughts

Posted on by

0

Unified Tag Team Championships: The Miz & Big Show defeated John Morrison & R-Truth
Horrible, quick, waste of time – these teams both are thrown together. Miz and Morrison were the champs last year. Now after all that has happened since last April 5th, we find them both having made a move which is not only lateral, but arguably regressive. This match was quick and did nothing more than get these guys onto the card, maybe that was the only point.

Randy Orton defeated Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton was part of the main event last year, DiBiase and Rhodes were not even on the card. Clearly they have pulled him down a few notches on their way up. Randy is gaining a face push though and this match was (theoretically) the end of this feud and all parties involved can move on.

Jack Swagger defeated Dolph Ziggler, Shelton Benjamin, Drew McIntyre, Christian, Montel Vontavious Porter, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston and Kane in the Money in the Bank match
Not a particularly great MITB match, the end was broken, sadly, with Swagger struggling to get the briefcase off of the hook. At least this win breathes some life into Swagger.

Triple H defeated Sheamus
“But, daaaaaaaaad…” Well, this is great, Sheamus needed this win, badly, in order to give his character any credibility, jobbed to Triple H. Again, Triple H has to be ‘the man’ and crush the competition. Triple H didn’t need to win this match, Sheamus did. As usual, Triple H ruins wrestling.

Rey Mysterio defeated CM Punk
Ok, Rey is the face and Punk is the heel, but this feud just began. Now that the face is victorious, what is the motivation to carry on this feud? Punk should have won.

Bret Hart defeated Vince McMahon
If Bret didn’t win this match, it would have been lunacy. Vince took his beating like a man for what happened in Montreal in 1997. The swerve at the end was an afterthought, clearly, but it was entertaining to watch.

Chris Jericho (c) defeated Edge
Unexpected – and welcomed. Edge was looking like he was gonna roll right over Jericho and make his triumphant claim of the championship after winning the Royal Rumble. Now this feud and continue and these two can do some more business.

Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Alicia Fox and Vickie Guerrero defeated Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Gail Kim and Beth Phoenix
This match was stupid and I didn’t respect it. Some divas can wrestle, some are just pretty faces. Vickie doing the frog splash was acceptable, but she botched the ending as well. Great that we have two women’s championships and neither is on the line at Wrestlemania. Eh, this match was what it was, bathroom break for the attendees.

John Cena defeated Batista (c)
I thought John Cena was the right guy to go over, but wasn’t sure if it would go that way. Batista was quite the heel going into this and in typical WrestleMania fashion, the good guy is supposed to triumph over evil. Cena posing with the “anti-Cena mob” after the match was awesome. Well played John Cena!

The Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels
Wisely, this was saved for the main event. Last year, these two tied it up, but after they put on what was (arguably) one of the best matches of all time, it wasn’t the main event. Following these two is next to impossible. Although I think last year had the better bout, this year was still excellent, and the tear-jerking ending was Sean Michaels losing and exiting the arena to no music, shelving his career permanently.

Tell me this, why was there not one single interview segment on this show? Really not ok. Santino’s elongated Slim James (Slim Jim) commercial spot doesn’t count.

All in all, not a great show. Maybe next year…

I Prove Jeff Jarrett Sucks

Posted on by

0

jeffjarrettI’ve been watching wrestling for almost 19 years. I have seen a lot of faces come and go. One face, however, that should have gone a long time ago, but managed to stick around, is that of Jeff Jarrett. Jeff Jarrett is not enjoyable to watch at all. I never was excited about him, either for or against him. I just didn’t like the guy, not in the “I boo the bad guy” way either. Disliking a bad guy in wrestling (for you non-wrestling fans) is known in the business as “heat.” A wrestler gains “heat” by appealing negatively to the fans. Jeff Jarrett has simply bored the life out of me whenever he is taking up precious TV time. As a heel (wresting jargon for “bad guy”) he generates no heat, the fans just want him to go away. As a good guy, he’s just boring. Both sides of that coin see him doing the same thing, breaking a guitar over someone’s head. Unlike the Honky Tonk Man who predates him, nobody cares when he does it, partially because he did it way too much.

So after being a unentertaining wrestler for a long time, he founded his own company and has been there ever since. He made himself champion, of course, for a while. It took several years before I think he may have finally realized just how lousy he was to watch. But onto my main point, how do I actually prove that Jarrett sucks?

This is Barry Horowitz

barrryhorowitzBarry Horowitz was what is known as a “jobber.” This means that he basically lost every match to major superstars who were being made to look good. He collected a paycheck and moved on with his life. Horowitz, however, shocked the world once, by winning a match against a then-superstar known as “Skip.” Skip claimed this was a fluke and the two tangled again, only to see another victory for Horowitz. The feud came to a head at Summer Slam 1995, so you have this jobber appearing on a major pay per view event. For only a minute, the entire world rallied behind Barry Horowitz hoping he would overcome the evil Skip. To those of us who remember this, I ask you, have you ever cared about any Jeff Jarrett match nearly as much as this one Barry Horowitz match? To those who only are finding out about this now, I’ll answer for you, “no.” Jeff Jarrett has never garnered as much interest as this one match with Barry Horowitz. I cannot think of any further evidence I need to present to relay this message any clearer. Barry Horowitz, who was not particularly interesting as a performer still managed to perform on a level higher than Jeff Jarrett has been able to attain.

Macho Madness Review: Ooooooh Yeah!

Posted on by

0

randy-savage-dvd-cover Reliving Randy Savage‘s WWF/WCW career was quite a trip down memory lane, but there were definitely potholes in this road. It had some key matches of his along the way, but I definitely felt something lacking, sans other superstar interviews.

We start from Savage’s WWF debut, which was a little disappointing, he had plenty of action in AWA and other territories that they could have covered. One thing that really drives me crazy is how the WWE continues to mess with the soundtrack of the original footage. Often they play a badly looped audience track over the original music, and then the replacement music on top of that. It becomes painfully obvious that they’re tampering with the music when you can no longer hear the announcers or interviews over the garbled mess of noise that was produced just for this DVD, lucky us. For some reason, they dub over Ric Flair’s 1992 entrance theme with his current theme, only later to freely play his actual theme from that era in a different match. Why WWE?

Also, a little more back story would have helped in between matches. Matt Striker and Maria set some of the story up for us, but who is going to remember them in 4 years? I was shocked that they edited out Jake Roberts slapping Elizabeth (Savage’s then wife) at their Tuesday in Texas match. Seriously that was a huge selling point of the feud, scrapping it on the DVD is just awful. Savage’s interview pouring emotion out after that match was the cherry on top, which is also absent from this set. Where is the rematch with the Warrior, also?

There were plenty of extras on the DVDs, interviews, his wedding to Elizabeth, although they were distributed a bit oddly. The chronology of the extras didn’t match that of the features. For example, Macho’s wedding took place in 1991, which is found on the first DVD, which covers 1985 – 1988. At least they had it there. His proposal to Elizabeth was pretty much a footnote during Maria and Striker’s chatting.

I was pretty excited about this DVD and feel a little disappointed, but it is nice to have some of these matches on DVD. It was very nice that they didn’t bury him like they did the Warrior. Randy Savage and the WWE are not known to be on good terms and the WWE has a record of really ripping to shreds big name wrestlers who have fallen out of their good graces. If you’re a big Macho Man fan, this DVD is still a must have. I’m not sure if it would make an addition to every wrestling fan’s library, however. For me, hearing “Pomp and Circumstance” and watching this maniac come out in some of the most fashionable robes I’ve ever seen, with a lovely lady by his side, exclaiming “Oooh yeah” and eventually dropping the big elbow on his opponent brought a smile to my face. There is no one in wrestling right now like the Macho Man, I’m not sure there ever will be.

Rating: ★★★★★★★½☆☆

My Late WWE Legends of Wrestlemania Review

Posted on by

0

legendsofwrestlemaniaWWE Legends of Wrestlemania has been something I have been waiting to play for quite a while. I don’t mean when it was announced, I mean back when Acclaim gave us “Legends of Wrestling.” Although there were some good things about Legends of Wrestling, it came up short. One of its big vices was that it contained wrestlers who were indeed legends, but a good deal of them were WWF legends and Acclaim did not have the WWF licensing to recreate all of the elements in quite the harmonious fashion I was hoping for. I wondered if the WWF were to release an all legends game, how it would fair. I felt like this may actually be that game. Again, we came up short.

The game features a nice roster, although conspicuous by their absence, some of the legends that you would expect to be in this game. Namely, Macho Man Randy Savage and Demolition were missing from the roster. The character models looked great for the most part, except Hulk Hogan and Andre were blown up a bit. The animations were very nice and the presentation really brought back memories. Unfortunately, THQ in their lacking wisdom, decided to rig the controls so that any nostalgic fan could pick up a controller and play. While this is great for the casual fan (who will most likely not buy the game), it was an excellent way to drive away fans who would feel much more at home having the same engine that Smackdown! Vs. Raw uses.

Your range of motion is very limited and after years of playing games like No Mercy, Fire Pro, and Smackdown! Vs. Raw, you feel like you’re being cheated out of gameplay elements. Due to the lacking range of motion, the action grows repetitive. I was also unhappy with some of the theme music. Apparently the WWE felt it necessary to change some of the wrestler’s signature themes to music that just did not belong. Luckily I have all of this music on my computer and ported it into the game and did some handy work to change the music appropriately.

The gameplay modes are mixed. The tagline of the game was “Relive, Rewrite, Redefine.” Relive is a mode where you, as it sounds, relive a Wrestlemania bout. What’s nice about these matches is that you have objectives to recreate from the match’s real life counterpart. Executing certain moves begins a string of actions which actually took place. Slamming Andre prompts a quick follow up leg-drop and a victory. Steve Austin picks up a bottle of water at ringside to spit it into the Rock’s face. Rewrite has you change the outcome of a match, basically the original loser goes over. Not exactly the most fun mode, but I guess if you were unhappy with an outcome, now is your opportunity to change it. Redefine is pretty fun, Wrestlemania (the first) hosted an Andre Vs. John Studd match, now we see that match take place in a Hell in a Cell match. Although this mode is interesting, I would have rather left the Rewrite and Redefine modes to my own exhibitions and had 3 times as many Relive matches.

For your Create A Legend, you have a set of gauntlets to run. The wrestlers you fight against are divided up in somewhat arbitrary groups of 10. After finishing a few of these you gain attribute points along the way. Eventually you end up at the gauntlet of the entire roster, all 38 legends. Finally, after porting the SvR roster into the game, you have one last gauntlet of 10 current WWE wrestlers to burn through. After this, there is really nothing left to do but replay the game. Because of the repetitive gameplay, however, you don’t really care to do this any longer. Plus, if you had any interest in playing this game before, the 38-man gauntlet has taken it out of you. It felt like they threw that mode in to artificial inflate gameplay time.

As for the create a legend mode, the physical appearance looks very good. The moves you have to choose from aren’t horrible, but why do they limit the finishers so much? The finishers are all chains (a succession of 3 moves). The finisher chains that exist for the superstars are the only ones in the game. You cannot designate your own. What does this mean? If you created, let’s say, the Macho Man, there is no way to make the elbow off of the top rope your finisher. very shabby. A good number of moves are locked until you import the SvR roster, but still, then you only have those finishers to choose from as well.

Sound: Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆
It’s a sports game, so I can’t really beef with the sound too much, although having to do my own handy work to make the real themes be part of the game annoyed me. Is it so hard to get the same music you used back in the day WWE?

Graphics: Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆
Although some of the character models are a little glorified, the game looks great, for the most part. The crowd still looks crappy, but I guess I shouldn’t be that picky about the crowd appearance.

Presentation: Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆
I’m going to double dip with the incorrect theme music and take points off for presentation also. There also could have been a ref in the ring. That having been said, the game has a good deal of little things that were awesome. Having all of the venues for the event replicated in the game is really nice. The lower thirds for the wrestlers match how they really looked for each Wrestlemania is a nice touch also. The highlights of the matches you are playing with in the “Relive, Rewrite, Redefine” mode was also nice, personally I would have liked to see the whole match, but that may not have been possible with the remaining space on the disc.

Control: Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
I’m throwing off the gloves for this one. The control was balls. Seriously, it’s a steep learning curve with very little payoff once you learn it. There just is no depth. Once you master the controls, you’re just frustrated that it isn’t easier to do things that you want to do. The worst scenarios are when you have to have your opponent in the right place outside the ring and cause him to be groggy before grappling with him the right way. When you have to do this to fulfill an objective, it’s the worst. I take that back, kicking out of a pin is the worst. The amount of button mashing you have to do should be illegal. It doesn’t feel like it makes any sense. You can be winning a match and when you’re the victim of a small package, kicking out require way more effort and physical energy than it should. I also feel like limiting the buttons that are used complicated things more, as more combinations are required to execute simple tasks. You sometimes will find yourself doing something other than what you intended due to the same buttons being used for multiple tasks.

Gameplay: Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Once you have watch the intros and grown excited, the thrill is now over. This is sad, you want to have fun with your legendary wrestler, but the control makes this too difficult. There are some nice elements, like if you have a manager he’ll help you out by distracting the opponent or placing your foot on the ropes during what would be a 3 count. I’m not quite sure how the game determines when your opponent has had enough. Sometimes beating on him for a while will give you a pin. Sometimes, several finishers in, they will remain unbeatable. The game just doesn’t flow.

My big question: why couldn’t they just use the Smackdown! Vs. Raw controls? Making fans of the game and product learn a new control set up just seems pointless and aggravating. Maybe next year. THQ has done some boneheaded things with WWE games, they sadly made this game a rental and not a keeper.

Overall Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆