Author Archives: M2J

Raw Review for 8/1/2011

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Opening Segment – CM Punk starts off the show, which was the right move. Everyone is tuning in to follow up on how last week ended. He explained simply, that he can’t make a change from the outside and needs to be on the inside to do that. Funny, this was pretty much the concluding thought of SLC Punk. Punk made sure to mention the fans and thank them – to me, that makes him a full-blown babyface. Triple H comes out. These two had a great back and forth, Punk is really coming through on speaking the minds of the fans. Punk noted that Triple H had a reputation for holding guys down and even being over-rated himself. I was worried when Triple H told Punk to explain why he really came back. Luckily this was just Triple H trying to be standoffish. This block ended with Triple H saying that he would take care of the dual champions situation later in the night.

All in all, a good promo spot.

Diva’s Battle Royal – I felt like this was a waste. I was anticipating either Beth Phoenix or Eve winning. I wanted Phoenix to win, which she did. Then she turned heel. It was needed and expected, but somehow felt kind of forced. I guess she’s taking over for Kharma – she’ll play the role of the monster diva, until Kharma returns next year to dethrone her. Is there really any other diva on the roster that poses a believable threat to Kharma?

The Miz and R-Truth Segment – The WWE is dangerously close to making R-Truth a face. He seems more over now than when he was a face. Maybe it’s just me.

Miz & R-Truth Vs Rey Mysterio & John Morrison – I suppose it was necessary to have this match in order to let these guys all have an appearance, but I really didn’t care. This match really didn’t do much for me, nor did it advance any stories. At least Miz & Truth won and looked dominant at the end.

Triple H Interview – Josh Mathews interviews Triple H. After what could maybe be considered a hard-hitting question, Triple H asks Mathews if he shaved that day. Trips told him he better get on that… Did I miss something? It made Triple H look kind of like the bully Punk accused him of being. Other than that, he just repeated what he said earlier.

Dolph Ziggler Out – While putting himself over, he’s interrupted by Alex Riley. I actually am ok with this. Riley is over, although I think the title should stay on Ziggler for now, this feud should be used to make Riley really good.

Ryder & Santino Vs Otunga & McGillicutty – At least we’re getting more Zack Ryder on Raw, it’s really about time. The tag division could not be any more lacking though. Throwing teams together to fight the champions who also have nothing going for them really isn’t doing much. I hope the Kings of Wrestling arrive soon. Also important to note, I love Santino’s new Cobra arm cover, AKA Socko 2000. Also – why were the heels facing the hard camera? It’s supposed to be the other way around. I guess it helped the successfully retain their titles.

CM Punk Interview – Again, kind of a lackluster interview, just repeating things that have happpened. I remember there was a Cena interview somewhere before this also, but again, not much in the way of story progression.

Alberto Del Rio Vs Evan Bourne – These two wrestled solidly, but the match was really lackluster. Del Rio basically dominated. Toward the end Bourne made a quick recovery, but didn’t hit the shooting star press and then the match was over via tap out. Winner – Del Rio

On another note: I really hate that Del Rio has the money in the bank. He really doesn’t need it. That could have better served another superstar.

We’re told to vote on WWE.com for who the universe thinks the rightful champion is, Cena or Punk?

Promo for Smackdown – Sheamus Vs. Mark Henry. I, for one, am thrilled that Sheamus is a face. I think he could be an excellent face. I’ve thought for a long time now, he and Swagger should be faces. One down, one to go. Also we got the Miz 7-Eleven commercials tonight. Looks like there’s quite a lot of collector cups now. Does CM Punk have one?

We return and see the poll results – John Cena gets 54% and CM Punk gets 46%. Not a bad split, although I expected Punk to be the favorite.

Triple H comes out, ready to address the problem of having two champions. The obvious way this is going to go is a Summerslam match, but we have to pretend that isn’t a given. John Laurinaitis is the first interruption. Anyone hear the fan yell “Push Zack Ryder!?” Triple H isn’t happy to see him. He suggests Cena be stripped, because that’s what Vince would want. I first wondered why he’d say that since Vince would have a greater issue with Punk, then I remembered why and Cena reminded us. Cena came out got in Laurinaitis’s face – said that he must want Cena stripped because Cena decked him at MITB. After Laurinaitis tried to get tough, Cena said he was going to deck him again. Laurinaitis quickly bailed. CM Punk came out and basically, both guys wined rather than letting Triple H speak. Finally, Triple H announced the match at Summerslam. Both guys took turns showing off their titles and the music switched back and forth.

Ok Raw, but didn’t compel me to watch next week as much as the previous Raws have done lately. Zack Ryder needs to wear that Internet Championship on TV.
Micael Cole needs to know when to shut up sometimes. Burying the announcers during a match is just annoying. Maybe we’ll get the John Cena heel turn we’ve all waited for at Summerslam?

Trufle w Czekoladzie – Candy of the Month!

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It’s hard to go into a lot of detail about these candies, because I don’t speak Polish. I have a vague idea what “W CZEKOLADZIE” means. (With Chocolate?) I will tell you this, however, these are delicious. They have a good little kick of bitterness to them. If I’m not mistaken, there’s somewhat of a liqueur component to them. They are not for everyone, but boy howdy they’re for me. There are varieties I think also. I recall having cherry-chocolate trufles one time. They aren’t an easy find. Duane Reade or CVS aren’t going to have these lying around, but if you check your local Polish grocer, there is a chance they may just have it on the shelf – next to the Wedel Delicje cookies and those creepy kinder eggs.

Star Trek: M2J Style

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I found myself (apparently) the captain, or at least some kind of designated leader of a crew on a space ship. It felt like Star Trek. I guess the ship we were on wasn’t sufficient for bunking, as we elected to stop at a fancy space hotel. Upon entering, the crew and I marveled at how luxurious it was. I encountered what I believed to be a female feline-like alien, it kind of resembled Mewtwo from Pokemon, but with pink and purple zebra stripes. We didn’t get along, I remember bad vibes followed by a heated argument. What is what about, I can’t recall. Our crew found its way to our respective rooms. I got the distinct vibe that the employees of the hotel had some degree of disdain for us.

At this point, I became an audience member for the show I was in, I suppose. I saw what appeared to be other guests of the hotel entering some recreational portion of the facilities, an act that was encouraged by the employees. They were in what was supposed to simulate floating in space as some kind of relaxation exercise. The guests that entered into the room for this, however, found themselves falling very fast. Falling? In space? That didn’t sit right. They continued to fall and as if changing the scene before we got to see their fate, I was back to me again. I grabbed some of my crew members and decided to have a look around the place. We got onto the elevator, three of us I believe. I was in the back left corner of the elevator, a female officer was to my right, and another ambiguous officer to her right. Two burly men wearing black t-shirts got on the elevator and stood between us and the door. They turned around suddenly and held us up with phasers. Before I could soak in this situation, the officers to my right disarmed the men. I didn’t see the one on the far right, but the one to my immediate right swiftly kicked the gun out of the right hand of the man in front of us with her left foot. After a proper beating, we somehow discovered that this hotel was used to enslave the guests in order to build something. I think it was a weapon of some kind for whomever was in charge.

We decided to return to the portion of the hotel where our fellow crew members were staying. I encountered the feline once again. Suddenly, I got the vibe that although we evidently had our differences, she was not part of the evil plot and in fact was in every bit of danger as we were. Perhaps she could be an ally. I then heard her voice, which was telepathic, say something like, “If only you could hear me you would know I’m not your enemy.” I shouted excitedly, “I can hear you!” We both had a moment of rejoice. I turned to my crew, who looked confused. “Can you hear her?” I asked. They both shook their heads, “no.”

We gathered up the whole crew and decided we were going to have to make a break for the exit. We would probably meet with hostiles on our way out and there was a possibility that they would have tampered with or robbed our ships. Suddenly, a group of about 3 geisha-looking women came in. They apparently were other guests at the hotel who were trying to make their escape. They had very distinctive colors. One was red, one blue, and one green, each with matching gowns, make-up and accessories (such as paper fans). I remember the fans very clearly for some reason, white toward the base, and gradiated with their respective colors toward the top. Something about them made me not think, but know that they were infiltrators. They were working with the hotel and were not to be trusted.

Unfortunately, this is where I woke up.