If World History were Professional Wrestling…

Obviously, I’m not going to venture back to the beginning of time. Let us travel back to the middle 1930s. Here’s the setting, America is a top performer drawing a lot of cheers and applause, not quite a main-eventer, but has been a face and getting a push for a while. America had quite a history of its own. Formerly part of the “British Empire” stable along with England, America broke away from them years back and stepped out of the shadow with an upset victory, shocking the world. Ever since then, America had a fruitful solo career. Some time had passed and now and elsewhere, Germany had teamed up with Japan and was in a feud with England who had to make a deal with the devil to fight these two off and join forces with Russia.

One day, Japan stopped America backstage and peaceful words were exchanged, both sides agreeing to steer clear of one-another. America started to walk away after this conversation and Japan quickly acquired and chair and whacked America in the back of the head. …A Pearl Harbor job – if you will. So America joined up with the alliance of Russia and England. The were called “The Allied Forces.” The team of Japan and Germany was “the Axis Powers.” This was war.

After a grueling feud, the Allied Forces triumphed, the final battle was a no disqualification “I quit” match pitting America against Japan. After a while, it appeared America was invincable and emotionally had snapped. After beating Japan to a bloody pulp, America took a sledgehammer to the back of the head of Japan. After Japan refused to say “I quit,” America nailed him again. Finally Japan quit, and America was named the winner and new World Champion!

America was the hottest star now. Everyone knew America, whether you watched wrestling or not. It was a household name. America cereal boxes, America T-shirts, America action figures, he was unstoppable. Well, years went by, America had many feuds, successful title defenses and a legacy that seemed like it would be on route to the Hall of Fame. But the something happened, America got cocky. America began telling everyone he was the best. Despite up and coming superstars displaying a wealth of talent, America began becoming more and more self-absorbed. America began insisting they had all kinds of attributes going for them, which in reality were all old stories that everyone had heard before. America never even attempted to defend the title, he just would rant and bicker about how great he was. The fans got bored with this and began to boo. America apparently felt as though they were still in the limelight. America was stripped of the title whilst the young talent-pool had a tournament to determine who would be the new champion. A new belt was given to the winner. Who won? It doesn’t matter, America still thinks he’s the champ, and still wears the old belt completely unaware that the world has passed him. America is the first one to tell you all the great things he’s done, despite that none of it has taken place anytime recently. America is a heel now folks. He’s snapped, gone completely crazy and consequently turned his back on all of his fans. America now attacks fellow competitors for no reason, cuts promos against others who also haven’t done anything, stating they’re “next.” Hopefully America will see the light down the road, perhaps win the actual world title, once again. Until then, America needs to be BOOed, and louder…until he can actually hear it, because he needs to start listening.